“Beware of getting everything you’ve ever wanted” is essentially the lesson John Ross has been learning over the last two weeks on Dallas. Last week it was sink or swim time for John Ross as he quickly learned that it isn’t just lonely at the top, it’s also difficult balancing to stay there. This week, he topples dangerously close to the abyss as Murphy’s Law applies and literally everything that can go wrong for the Ewing heir does…

John Ross is living on borrowed time in many ways; if Elena finds out that he actually knew what his dad was up to all along, their newfound reunion could be gone faster than you say “Yee Haw!” As if this wasn’t enough to keep him on his toes, he’s got the Venezuelan Cartel pressuring him to deliver the oil and crazy Marta making thinly veiled threats against both his relationship with Elena and her life. A knife in a picture of the two, Marta is many things but subtle is not one of them. This causes John Ross to have the brilliant notion that confronting Marta a.k.a. Veronica Martinez in her room is a good idea.

All together now…John Ross: What are you thinking??! But really, what’s a good soap without the requisite accused for a crime he didn’t commit as Marta ends up taking a final bow right over the balcony. All while contending with Christopher, who thanks to his father has decided to take the high road and decided not to reveal John Ross’ unwittingly made sex tape (although I think this has more to do with Rebecca’s perfectly timed reveal that the rights to the minerals and land of South Fork are two separate things). So, yes John Ross is his having a really...really bad day.

A show of hands as too who else suspected that dear Rebecca was going to turn up pregnant? Well if you are a tried-and-true soap fan, you definitely saw this one coming. But it’s not so much that she’s pregnant that’s the best part of this “reveal”, it’s the way that poor Christopher got the news that made it juicy. As we see, Elena blurts out the “happy” news just as he was trying to get her to give him another chance. It’s all about timing Christopher and your’s sucks. On the other hand, the timing of this pregnancy couldn’t have served Rebecca better had she planned it. Hmmm… could she have forgotten to take her birth control pills on purpose?

Well she definitely planned that “morning sickness” at Elena’s house just right. Christopher is not taking the news of impending fatherhood well at all and demands a paternity test. Enter Anne, who is perhaps relating to Rebecca’s plight a bit more that is altogether understandable, at least now anyway. But things take a sharp turn for him when he discovers they’ll be having twins. Does this mean a reunion for the newlyweds isn’t too far behind?

As I’ve mentioned before, of all the characters on the new series Brenda Strong’s Anne has been the most cautiously revealed. Her ex-husband comes across as a bully who perhaps abused her. Of course his playing the snake in the Ewing marriage by handing over an envelope answering every question Bobby’s ever had about Anne was perfection. And that final shot of Anne with a child…Is the child dead? Did she perhaps abandon it? And could Rebecca be that child? I for one cannot wait to find out what secrets Anne has been keeping.

JR is still M.I.A from South Fork, leaving his son to deal with everything that is going wrong and leaving John Ross with the only option available to him… his momma Sue Ellen. If there is anything wrong with the new Dallas, it would be not enough Sue Ellen Ewing. Linda Gray owns this character lock stock and barrel. She delivers every look and every line with a delicious mixture of lady-like grace and cold hard steel. Her conversation with Elena regarding her making the “right” decision was sheer perfection. It left this viewer wondering just how genuine Elena’s choice to help John Ross really was.

The episode ends with Christopher seemly embracing fatherhood, Bobby being the understanding husband and John Ross being led away by police for Marta’s murder. Poor John Ross...he really did have an awful day.